Maybe the time is coming near that we should start reading Suzy the
baby DE book. One of her daycare teachers is pregnant, that might help
to convey the notion that babies grow in bellies.
I'm a bit reluctant, and I can think of two reasons
- we haven't told the boys
- how will other people react if she says something
I feel so comfortable now being 'the mom' with no questions asked...
Mhm, maybe I could read it together with Delia and her DE daughter. That is a nice and safe test run, and she has much more experience with talking about it already, they are really open about their DE experience (she got pregnant at 46 after so very many years of trying)
What is
definitely coming near is the day Suzy needs a bed that she can climb out
of safely by herself (or not at all, but that's only an option at
daycare in my opinion)
We are not ready for that, not sure that Suzy will ever go to sleep again, not sure what havoc she will wreak while we sleep...
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I would not know what to suggest, yes probably you should tell the boys first but I think she is still very very young to understand much at all about the process. I remember when I was pregnant with Martina and Oliver was about Suzy's age he was quite unaware of what was going on. Yes maybe toward the end, with the big belly and the fact that there was a baby in mamma's belly was a bit clearer, but that was it really. Have you asked Bamby Eyes for her opinion on the matter?
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you so so much for your input on the sleeping, I think you may well be right that he just need more stimulation.Last night miraculously was much better, fingers crossed!!
You'll need a door with one of those knob locks. Have you seen those?
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to know when to start talking about it.
I started telling Little G about her origins when she was a baby. It just seemed easier to tell her when she wouldn't understand and then I could practice. I tell her about how much we wanted her and my eggs were just no good and wouldn't work, but we found a generous woman who gave me her eggs. etc. It is normal to her. We were open about our issues and using DE so I didn't have the same worries as you. If you haven't told anyone yet, if I were you, I would tell Suzy first. It is her story. If she tells other people then you can fill in the blanks for them with the explanation that you wanted her to know first since it is ultimately her history.
ReplyDeleteThat's it exactly! Her history. There are a fair few people that know. Family, the dutch donors we tried first, the people who supported me through this decision... but yes, I want it to be her story as much as possible.
DeleteAh, this is spoken of quite a lot in adoption circles; about how to make it age-appropriate, creating a life book to look at, with photos, and making the story part of normal life. Some of which might work here: I am thinking of maybe pictures about babies and introducing the idea that families become families in different ways, before even talking about her own story? But yes, she seems young for this, yet.
ReplyDeleteI read this at the time, and meant to pop in just to wish you luck. Wiser and more experienced people are giving you good advice.
ReplyDelete