More friends who need a hug.

It seems people around me are having hard times.
Lily, my friend at work, has a sister. This sister is someone who planned her children 2 years apart, all four of them, and had life work out that way. House, career change, it all fitted. Until she got pregnant with the fifth unplanned. And almost died giving birth to him. They had to do not only an emergency c-section, but also an emergency full hysterectomy. Kept her in ICU for a few days.
And on the office xmas party Lily had two glasses of wine on an empty stomach, and suddenly confided in me that she had marital problems.  Because after 9 years of marriage he still doesn't want children, and at 36 she feels she is running out of time. O dear.
When I tried to arrange to come over for tea and listen to her she said she wasn't free this week, as she wanted to support a friend after 3 years of failed treatments and 3 rounds of  IVF (which is the end of the road in the Dutch healthcare system)
O dear.

Two and a half years ago she introduced herself (and her husband) as not having and not wanting children. I simply accepted that, but half overheard a colleague grilling her about it, and her giving many reasons. (this guy never knows when to shut up, alas)
She did tell me she liked children, and she is great with Suzy.
OMG I just realised I even took her along on my fun-scan at 22 weeks pregnant. She knitted baby socks, a baby vest, matching hats for Suzy and me. And now I'm wondering how much heartbreak went into it...
O dear.

the only things I've managed to offer her so far were my experiences with relationship therapy. Like schedule a time to talk as if it is a meeting; with an end time. And maybe an agenda. (instead of always nagging him and never be heard)