Apparently hesitation makes me silent....
I wrote this weeks ago:
"Had my first appointment with my interim-counsellor. Alice. She looks a bit like Alycia Lane (or Thirteen, from House): at first I was afraid that if I said the wrong thing she would bite my head off. She just looks fierce with the flowing hair and dark eye make up. And she moves when she wants something done. But when she listens she is quiet and emphatic, so that is reassuring. I'm not sure she has experience with infertility patients though.
I wrote this weeks ago:
"Had my first appointment with my interim-counsellor. Alice. She looks a bit like Alycia Lane (or Thirteen, from House): at first I was afraid that if I said the wrong thing she would bite my head off. She just looks fierce with the flowing hair and dark eye make up. And she moves when she wants something done. But when she listens she is quiet and emphatic, so that is reassuring. I'm not sure she has experience with infertility patients though.
I'm a bit in limbo right now about starting our DE-in-Spain adventure. She does want to help me look at what is stopping me, but she also wants to pay attention to the here-and-now.
That in itself was motivation enough for me to finally fire off the next email to the next clinic.
Mid March I'm going on a scuba dive trip again. Scuba and pregnancy don't mix at all, so after the trip we can start our Spain adventure. While still hesitant I'm also in a hurry: in June is the birthday that will make me 40 years old. Denying milestones is all good and fine, but I've seen people getting hit hard by this one.
Even my always happy even-keeled DP had a weird wobble. "
March has come and (almost) gone in the mean time...
With some help of HB I sent the same mail to another Spanish clinic. And basically got the same answer: the clinic picks the donor.
I don't know why it bothers me so. Maybe if we talk to them in person we'll get some more nuance, but the idea of "just fill out this form" seems too simple.
Maybe the form is really good and lets me add stars to things I find important, or indicate multiple options. For example, I was totally fine with FoF being a tiny woman while I'm tall. But I'm a bit scared of hair/eye colour, because DP is so very fair with blue eyes and I'm only medium brown, so a dark kid would stand out from us. Sigh, I want to make myself stop worrying...
Maybe, vaguely I'm looking for excuses. It's almost like I want to have been gone there already and just deal with the outcome. So tired of all this decision making.
Mhm, maybe not the most coherent of posts, sorry for that.
Oh, if commenting still isn't working easily you can send email to let me know at gmail.com: valeryvalentina
March has come and (almost) gone in the mean time...
With some help of HB I sent the same mail to another Spanish clinic. And basically got the same answer: the clinic picks the donor.
I don't know why it bothers me so. Maybe if we talk to them in person we'll get some more nuance, but the idea of "just fill out this form" seems too simple.
Maybe the form is really good and lets me add stars to things I find important, or indicate multiple options. For example, I was totally fine with FoF being a tiny woman while I'm tall. But I'm a bit scared of hair/eye colour, because DP is so very fair with blue eyes and I'm only medium brown, so a dark kid would stand out from us. Sigh, I want to make myself stop worrying...
Maybe, vaguely I'm looking for excuses. It's almost like I want to have been gone there already and just deal with the outcome. So tired of all this decision making.
Mhm, maybe not the most coherent of posts, sorry for that.
Oh, if commenting still isn't working easily you can send email to let me know at gmail.com: valeryvalentina
