D+8 , 9

D+8
Saturday
I was getting increasingly nervous about testing on my birthday. I started counting medication to see if delaying till Saturday (D+15) would be an option. It will work for the estradiol patches, and I have plenty of progesterone. Aspirin and folic acid are available without prescription, so that leaves the thyroid hormone and the prednisolon. I did ask about those when we were in Spain, and the doctor said that pregnancy can be hard on the thyroid and needs to be checked, so possibly I need that for longer (well, you know, if, by then...)
I haven't dared to google the prednisolon any further. I understand it suppresses my immune system, and that may be most important during implantation. Wiki says:

"In humans, implantation of a fertilized ovum is most likely to occur about 9 days after fertilization, ranging between 6 to 12 days"

(Well, Wiki said ovulation. I replaced that with fertilization here. Just Because.)

latest tomorrow then. I started on a dose of 20 mg, but after 5 days stepped down via 15 to 10 daily. So maybe I don't need that later?

Next I started a different search engine (duckduckgo.com) because that doesn't leave traces and doesn't sell your search profile before you even finished typing. I wanted to know which POAS test has what sensitivity, and typically it isn't printed on the box! I found internet cheapies with very low threshold (20mlU/mL) and the page bragging that one national drugstore chain sells them as their 'home brand'. It also tells me not to test early because it could still go wrong between testing on 10dpo and 14dpo.
On the way to the store I saw a woman with a big belly. I almost wanted to stop and ask her belly to tell my belly what to do.
On the way back I saw another woman with an even bigger belly.

the test I got is not a poas literally, not as in the verb p, but only the noun. Instructions: P in a cup, take 4 drops, pipette those on the s. Set Timer. Wait 5 Minutes exactly. Then and Only Then Look.
Squint
Look harder.
And in my imagination I think I may have seen something.

It may very well be gone tomorrow.
But for today it is the faintest glimmer of hope

D+9
Sunday
chickened out of posting that yesterday....

Couldn't sleep very well after 4AM. At 5 I gave up, got up and tested again. So faint DP said he didn't see it, thought it disappeared. And wondered why I even bothered to test again, said it was pointless. (?!)
The thing with these tests is they claim only to be valid after 5 minutes exactly. The instructions literally say to throw negative tests away because the second line could colour later, falsely.
So yes, my very faint lines have turned into vague lines on the actual cassettes (and I showed DP yesterday only after a few hours, didn't want to tell him over the phone, and he could see it clearly then.)
BUT, I took pictures with my phone after the appropriate 5min. Bad pictures, bad lighting, vague subject matter, sorry.

I know it is very early. I know I'm driving myself crazy (and you too probably, sorry for that) I want to be prepared for every scenario, I want to hope, (mhm already hoping) but it will be a while before I can believe.
Glimmer of hope, please don't fade. Stay with me. Grow stronger.
please.