Verdict: Nothing Wrong

On August 4th , just after Summer Holidays, I had my first appointment with the endocrinologist in the hospital. On the way there, on my bike I slipped on wet cobble stones while turning into Vondelpark, so I arrived with a cut in my hand and scraped elbow and knees.
I felt kinda funny asking for a band aid at the reception of a hospital.
The first part of the appointment was with a medical student. This girl was well prepared, had three pages of tight scribbles, asking for several symptoms of glands/internal organs/functions I was only dimly aware of. Spleen, liver, adrenal. It took about an hour.
After I had some time to sip tea from my thermos, the specialist herself had some time, grabbed two different lab sheets and after asking questions for ten minutes started ticking boxes.
Auto-immune, thyroid check, diabetes, anaemia, vitamin deficiencies, the female hormones.
We agreed I should try to have my blood drawn on CD5 to find out more about this returning cycle of mine.
You guessed it: cycle gone.

After a month the Dr called to tell me I should have the blood draw anyway, so I did; last Friday.
Today she called me, to tell me there was nothing out of the ordinary in the lab results.
Sooooo, in a way this is good news, thyroid medical level is OK, no underlying illness. Just confirmation of menopause being here for me (FSH 49)
But this means there is no biomedical reason for me to be forgetful, unfocussed or tired.

As these things happen I discussed this option this very same morning with BambiEyes.
She reminded me that intelligent people use the prefrontal cortex for planning. foreseeing the results of your actions, then planning your actions for optimal result/efficiency/logistics. And that also this functioning suffers when you're tired. Plus with a toddler in the house there is a lot more planning to do.
(e.g. Suzy is too young to tell me she is thirsty, so I have to keep track of how much and how often she drinks)
So I shouldn't be surprised that with more planning to do and less capacity I don't feel as capable as before.
oh, for the people looking for advantages/silver linings of not having children: please add memory and planning to your list. And not having to have dinner before baby bed time.

Where was I.
Ah, hormones. Will have to look into early menopause and its symptoms, hormone replacement therapy and keep an eye on that thyroid.
(And try to find friends with young children and ask to what degree they got their body/brain back and when)
Why do I keep thinking this is all my own fault? "just focus" is the new "just relax"?