It was his own idea really. I mean, he started it. He took his brother to an unknown destination for an unknown activity three years ago. And ever since they have been out on mystery events for their birthdays: blow carting on the beach, U2 concert, professional cooking workshop, that kind of surprise. This year his brother had asked for my help and involvement, because he wanted to include partners and have a snow-filled afternoon of fun (since DP had never skied before) So it was my job to take care of our agenda and bring snow gear, without DP knowing. And I had to get him in the train to another city, while his brother would take care of further transport and the reservations.
Coincidence would have it that HB lives in that city, and was in on the plot. We met for coffee in the coolest little shop. DP had sooo not suspected anything that even when his brother and partner walked in and joined us he still took a while to realise he was in for a surprise party. His first reaction? He was not happy about it, he was upset with me for keeping him in the dark. Thankfully on the way over to the ski area he warmed up to the idea and we had a good afternoon. But it made me realise two things: -it is hard to keep a secret from someone I love when it affects them directly and- at the moment the surprise is revealed it shows that I the secretkeeper am not worthy of trust...
Adding to the perspective: DPs birthday was on Wednesday, the surprise on Sunday, he could have known, could have suspected and the surprise was totally harmless.
Now make the small leap to DE and telling our baby about it.
I was always of the opinion that I would not want DE a secret, now I know for sure.
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Yes, they told us many times in the Adoption meetings that secrets are not good for trust.
ReplyDeleteSurprise parties are a funny thing, aren't they? Fun to arrange - but speaking for myself, I like to have a chance to prepare myself psychologically for an event. The JB wanted to surprise me with a trip to an unknown destination once, and I had to tell him I'd enjoy it more if I knew.
Boring of me, I know. :)
It's called a surprise party for a reason! Since this has become an established theme between he and his brother it seems a little silly for him to be upset about it, even if you were involved in the planning. I'm glad he came to his senses and was able to enjoy himself.
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