CD 33

After my last post I thought I should check what cd I'm on, and was surprised to find that was cd21 already. (which this year had mostly been the end of it)There had been a minuscule mucuy sign a week before, followed by some activity. So -apart from no eggs that aren't even ovulating- I felt doubt creeping back in. On cd 27 I told DP that cd1 was taking longer than before, but being who he is he didn't react in any significant way.
I'm trying not to let hope creep in as well. But I haven't made myself poas to truly destroy the possibility of hope. I'll keep that for Sunday when I'm staying with a friend who will not say rational stuff DP might say (pff I can hardly bring myself to type what I don't want to hear) "but the chances weren't very high" or "does this mean your menopause is starting right now"
Otherwise I suppose that by all practical means and purposes I've given up hope: I'm not taking folic acid or any other pills, I don't even know what wheat grass is, I'm not taking temperatures, I'm not actively checking CM or what cycle day it is, and the only time for 'activity' is on the weekend, to keep DP happy. Because, well, I'm in the "it's useless anyway" stage. No Chinese magic, herbs, vitamins, dreamcatchers, moonstones, African statues on bedside tables, aura or other healers or foreign doctors. Yoga is a sport to me, no objections there.

The whole coffee/alcohol thing is a non issue for me, I never drink it anyway, can't get over the taste. You know, maybe later, when I'm all grown up and such...