Less than six degrees

Yesterday was a big family get together with DPs family from his fathers side. His father has 5 sisters and 4 of them have children and grandchildren. In total around 50 people between 1 and 70-something. Only during breakfast DP said we had to hurry because this all started around 11. We didn't even have time to buy some gifts for the family hosting it... (And I didn't have a chance to come up with an excuse to not go) So, we went and were the last ones to arrive. At first I was trying to hide in a corner, but his family noticed me anyway. I hope I didn't offend them by not being able to tell them apart, I've only met them once or twice before, and always all of them together. After the rain and coffee were cleared away we went for a walk so it was easy to mix and mingle (or be on my own for a bit) At the next stop with drinks and nibbles a lady my age came up to me and asked my name, and then my last name. And then ever so carefully asked me if maybe I had worked at this other Telco in Amsterdam. Yes I have, that was 1999. She wasn't too sure she recognised me at first sight. My hair has gone curly in the mean time (and so had hers). And that twentysomething bouncing girl sooo eager to discover the world has gone travelling around. But this trying to settle-and-have-a-baby-30s thing isn't quite the same. And then I spilled my entire IF story, cheerfully interrupted by her almost two year old who was getting tired and being adorable at the same time. Nibbly ears, and such a very soft little neck that begged to be tickled, so I tickled him. She told me that when she met her love at said Telco, who we worked out must be a cousin of DP, they already saw people around them struggling to conceive. So they decided to not wait till they were married, because you never know how long it is going to take. Boy one arrived before they even had a chance to plan that party. So instead the party was a year later. Story made me smile, so glad some people know how happy they are. And so were boy two and three.
Another cousin appeared to have moved into a houseboat just down the road after having lived in China for a year. I mean, it's hardly 200 meters away, what are the chances?
Another funny thing with this family was people talking about holidays. DP and I have been in a funk about holidays. In 2006 DP pointed out a trip to me that took my breath away: in 28 days from Istanbul to Cairo, going past the hidden rock church Petra in Jordan. But he's been wriggling out of this, because of work, because of kids... and every year we put it off that crack in my heart became a little bigger. So when he started about this 8 day walking to Petra trip I was all 'yes yes, I'll believe it when I see it'. But yesterday he told his entire family. And hours after I had gone to sleep he woke me up asking for my passport. And he said he booked the trip in the middle of the night as there were only 3 spots left.
Wow.
This morning he started asking me questions about how one obtains a passport in this city. (His European ID card will not suffice outside Europe) so it is sounding all serious.
I'm mad at myself for not being happy, for not believing, for not being able to shake the grumpiness or hopelessness...
(DP biting my head off when I pointed out he needed to go to the city hall for finger prints and therefore he can not apply for a passport online didn't help)