Tomorrow I will visit the baby I almost had.
At work I had great colleagues, and me not being able to keep my mouth shut, and (what is that expression again?) wearing my heart on my sleeve told them about my IVF when it was happening around this time last year.
At some point a male colleague came up to me, saying they were starting their first IVF attempt as well, a couple days ahead of me. It was quite special, exchanging tips and tricks, and just knowing. Neither of us came out pregnant that time, but they had something frozen. Their first FET attempt did work out, and they had a healthy little boy at the start of this year.
Tomorrow I will visit them for the first time ever, together with another former colleague-now friend who knows the full story. So I can hide behind his shoulder if need be.
Somehow I don't think I will need that. I'm thinking I will be totally mesmerized by this tiny baby, by the privilege of knowing him and how he came to be.
I'm thinking that it will prove it was normal for me to want that, that miracles can happen. Don't know if it will give me energy to hope against the odds again... (it might just rub off, who knows)
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Sounds like a bit of a bittersweet moment. I'm sure the baby will work his magic and will have you knowing it IS normal to want that and that miracles do happen.
ReplyDeleteYes! It was wonderful, having him fall asleep on my arm and chest...
ReplyDeleteOh good! Glad it wasn't too sad. It sounds like you felt comfortable with the baby. They are such magical, mysterious little beings, aren't they?
ReplyDelete(I meant to comment before but somehow two days went by. Not sure how that happened. Where did they go? Anyone seen two days wandering about?)