And then, five days after my last post, May asked how the homework went.
Oops.
Ahem.
And I realised I had managed about one and a half point of it. I'd started telling DP the same day, but halfway explaining how difficult I found it to be sad/happy I choked up. DP froze like a deer in the headlights, so very silent he scared me. I crawled on his lap and cried, was comforted by him holding me tight, but he still didn't say anything. I finally asked if he understood anything of what I was saying and he said yes. Later he said he could make the call for me, which I gratefully accepted.
But he didn't call.
On Tuesday I called a cousin who lives in the same city as SIL. He was happy to be my back up plan if I would go visit there, and even suggested the famous (Dutch) line 'I'll be in the neighbourhood anyway'
But I didn't call SIL.
Yesterday DP called his brother, made arrangements to visit on Friday afternoon when he knows I can't be there and didn't breathe a word about me.
HB suggested that DP avoids confrontation as much as I do.
So
this morning I figured I'd bite the bullet and go visit on my own. Today is my last chance for the next two weeks. I dialled, got voicemail, left my message and number and went for a run. My SIL called back, saying she was very happy I called and would love to have me for a visit this afternoon. Said she understands it could be difficult for me but I don't have to hide from her.
And the good news is it will be just her, me and the baby and I'm free to leave anytime I want or need. I can hardly believe people would still like me as a visitor.
Phew.
Relieved, bit excited, bit scared and a bit proud of myself too.
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Well done. That was hard, and you are brave. I hope the visit goes well, and I am glad SIL was understanding and kind.
ReplyDeleteDP totally does not do confrontation, does he? Oh dear. Hears hoping that bit goes better next time.
Good job! And it sounds like your SIL actually kind of gets it, and that's really nice. I hope you have a great visit with her and that it's not too painful.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, in English (at least in the States) we also use the saying, "I was in the neighborhood." It's used in a sarcastic manner though - for example, when you drop something off with someone who lives an hour away and they thank you for doing it, you say, "Oh, I was in the neighborhood anyway" as a joke even though you both know you had no reason to be in the neighborhood. (I love how my comments on your blog lately always turn into us discussing words and language :) )
Way to go! Hope the meeting goes well.
ReplyDelete