Don't

Kids don't make you happier.
'twas a little piece in the newspaper at the end of August. Stated that for decades psychological research has shown that kids don't make you happier.  How does this research go?
Well, take a group of people (couples), ask them how happy they are and we get number H1.
some time later, find the people that have small children, ask again, -> find H2 and, surprise H1 > H2.
Oh, you're not believing it? Well, go back 20 years later when the children are adults, ask for H3 and voila: H3 > H2.
I don't have access to the small print at this moment (I think they excluded divorce situations) but google told me to look here:
    * The social health of Marriage in America, 2006
    * Stumbling on Happiness, Daniel Gilbert's 2006
    * Gross National Happiness, Arthur C. Brooks 2008

alas the links didn't work (at first, fixed now), but even without all that I'm pretty pretty sure infertility was left out of the equation. And it makes me angry. I mean, come on, it sounds like it means I should be happy I don't have my little ones in existence?
Ahh, I know I should be grateful for safe drinking water, not living in a war zone, food, skinny jeans and chocolate phones from LG.

Geez, some internets get in the twists. I had to go back and look some further. Wikipedia quotes Brooks saying that "Parents are happier than the childless, even though their children often upset them."
(and their children often upset the childless too I might add)

Sooooo, where was I? yes, stupid summaries/conclusions. Feeling excluded, being made to feel stupid for being unhappy childless infertile me. Wanting to scream 'but not getting the children I long for makes me MUCH unhappier!!!!

I almost wanted to write that not having a baby makes me much unhappier than a baby ever could, but I don't want to compete in the Pain Olympics here. I've seen blogs with Real Big Struggles and anyone who has read 'The Spohrs are multiplying' knows happiness isn't a simple number.
 Life isn't a - Maddie + Annie = 0.

Rationally then, my life looks not so bad at all. Emotionally I'm still scared of the dark.