Room to Breathe

Before the holiday I asked my boss if we could talk about my working hours. Because my unpaid parental leave was running out by July 31th. And I want to keep spending Wednesdays with Suzy. I asked for 70%, leaving myself some room for negotiation up to 80%
He said he would ask his boss, because 'official office policy is to work full time'
but boss-boss was on holiday, so I would hear the answer later. O well.

Holiday was very relaxing.

When I returned he invited me for 'coffee'. Somehow this euphemism for meeting or talk doesn't sit well with me. Especially when he does indeed go to the company restaurant and buys coffee for himself and then offers me tea (I have my own tea maker, why would I pay for tea?)
Anyway, I sat down at his desk at a quiet moment.  Asking him for his answer. Then my boss started going on about how apparently he didn't have the legal means to deny me to work part time. So 70% was allright then. Even though he was not happy about it.
One of the reasons behind this is that there are not enough people in the team. My previous boss fired one. My current boss was supposed to hire one, but didn't do it fast enough. Not sure what happened, maybe HR decided that if it took to long he didn't really need it?
And with me cutting back my contract he seems unable to hire a part time person to make up for that as well. Lily has a 80% contract, some other people 90%, there should be enough to hire an extra person if he could talk to the right people in HR and/or control.

I think we concluded before that he is a bit of a nincompoop.

However! There is an upside!
He is now determined that I am better off in the development team, and will try to get me a job there!
Hoping I get my brain into gear before I have to prove I'm up to it.
(I think I have some time as that possible future boss is on holiday now)
  

Friendship 301

DP and HB are colleagues and friends for years. The first years I was working at a different company, and contact would just be small talk at the dinner table when DP dragged him home. Sometimes he would clue me in that they needed some time and space for 'man talk' and I would disappear after dinner. DP wouldn't say much, just 'private' and 'relationship trouble'. Then, I started working at the same company.
Shortly afterwards DP said something to me along the lines that he had given up, he felt he could no longer help HB, that something had happened to throw him into depression.

From my own experience of feeling down or slightly depressed I felt that that was the wrong time to leave someone on their own. So I reached out. Travelled to his city to make him tea. To listen. To just be there.
I think in that winter I went there every week. Would take him grocery shopping, would cook so he had at least one warm and nutricious meal. (maybe you can't fix people, you can still try to feed them.)
I nicknamed him HB for heartbroken, thinking that in time I could change that in Happy Bastard. I figured that he had some much love to give that someone would come along and adore him. I didn't believe he would stick to his 'never again' statement. But he has. And I've learned to respect that, have seen his happiness return.

I've read a couple of blogs today, writing about depression, all triggered by the death of Robin Williams and his depression.  And I guess all agree you can't really help / fix someone.

At the time DP thought I was overdoing it, with all the caring for HB. But I'm so glad I did. A strong bond was formed (Even though I probably needed HB more than he needed me) and hopefully it will last through all my forgetfulness and baby-centeredness.
I know that HB has an old friend that he calls his best friend, in their own words they are like an old married couple. (they go out drinking every weekend) But to both DP and me he is our best friend. It doesn't matter to me it is asymmetrical.
Life is too short to wait for symmetry. I just have a few friends that are special to me and for that I'm grateful.

No Post Like planned

I was going to write tonight.
about the holidays
about tests
about work
and something else on the list as well. (I keep forgetting)

But Suzy keeps crying instead of sleeping, so we keep going up and down the stairs to try to comfort her, and it's not working. And it's 10 pm.
tomorrow is another day.

(UTA: DP took her downstairs and fed her a jam sandwich. At 10 pm. She slept then, so I'll say nothing.)