Only a few people irl know about the DE-IVF. We have decided to tell Suzy first, so she will grow up always knowing, but leave it up to her who she wants to share her origins with.
(I should really make a list because I'm already forgetting who knows and who doesn't.)
My parents know. And somehow this doesn't stop my mother from pointing out that Suzy looks like DP over and over again. She even asked if I didn't mind. Apparently it was a rhetorical question, because despite I said I did mind she hasn't been able to stop herself.
I'm telling myself to forgive her, she adores Suzy, she helps out whenever she can. She is most likely genuinely pleased to spot the resemblance...
There is no doubt my parents consider her 100% family. I was a bit afraid my father would find it awkward, but he is completely smitten with her too.
Suzy was born with brown hair. Much unlike DP's boys who were bold for their first two years. Now (April) her hair starts to go a bit chestnut. We say she must have gotten it from me.
She has my ears. Tiny ears with tiny free earlobes. DP's ears have attached earlobes.
Everyone has long legs. And my family is skinny too. Although at 8 weeks Suzy is putting on her first rim of Michelin man legs.
She has dark blue eyes. In her left eye, on the left side, from 9 to 11 if you will, a bit of brown. DP's eyes are summer sky blue, mine a forest of browns and greens with a drop of honey. We are ever so curious if they will change or remain blue.
(And already I hear myself saying that my brother has blue eyes too. This Monday Apr 22 a family friend remarked Suzy looks like my brother. It made me smile. Just a gentle happy smile, not a if-you-only-knew smile)
So. After deciding that the donor is such a good match and therefore looks like me, I feel comfortable saying Suzy looks like me. I'm grateful she does, that they both do.
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This is a tough situation. I have thought a lot about it and hope I am in it soon! I am sorry your mom is not respecting your wishes, but glad that she adores your baby girl!
ReplyDeleteI think resemblance talk is very much socially accepted, and therefore to be expected. I try to prepare myself as much as I can, and with other people I'm OK with it. Plus newborns are supposed to look like their father first!
DeleteIt's lovely your mother and father are enjoying being Suzy's grandparents. Hmm, physical resemblance is such an interesting one.
ReplyDeleteMy nephew's eyes changed from blue to brown later than most, at 6 months. And my niece's hair was honestly black at birth and gradually lightened to golden blond. Like a different child!
I like to think of it (the expression of DNA) as mixing two different things to make a new and entirely unique thing. Like with paint colours.
She sounds beautiful.
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