slivers of hope

Ohhhh, the games I play during the 2ww... This time I felt like picking out names for the two follicles. I even asked DP for suggestions. He looked at me like it was a stupid idea. He said he'd like to see before he believes, and there is nothing to see just yet. (I know)(but it hurts a little when he says things like this)

Yesterday, after bringing his boys back to their other parent, we went out trying to spot some falling stars from Phaetons passing. We managed to see quite a few stars, some planes flying but nothing falling. After getting really cold we found a pub with special winter beer for him and hot chocolate for me. He was saying how much he had enjoyed playing soccer on the playground with the kids this afternoon. And how he would be 49 by the time this baby would be 10 years old.

?!!!!?

He's 38 now, so it was more than just slapping 10 years on top (his oldest is 10), he even calculated some months for pregnancy... I couldn't believe my ears.
I know his brain works different from mine, I know that we don't always have the same feelings at the same time and that he doesn't find it easy (or necessary) to talk about those things. But. Sometimes it is the little things that make a difference. That makes me feel he cares. you hear that, little cells? little bits making the difference? that your father will love you? will play soccer with you? yes, girls can play soccer too!

I can feel some tension down below. Most likely just that, tension. Tomorrow we'll know if it is also progesterone doing its job. No buying of xmas pee sticks before then...