Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year (?)

At the end of 2008 there was my miscarriage. Early 2009 was the IVF that failed into IUI and failed altogether. Weeks ago was the monitored cycle where ovulation failed. The trend I'm seeing is failure occurring earlier and earlier. Makes me afraid of 2010. What is the next thing that will fail? first sex, then relationship? I know I haven't been talking much about my relationship. Even realising this is sort of anonymous, knowing that I'm not alone with fear and anger, Oh sigh, I don't even know where to start, it seems so hard.

On the other hand, it seems we have all survived the xmas hurdle. Maybe we are stronger than we think. Maybe it is ok to have faith in highly unlikely miracles occurring. Maybe depression isn't so bad.

Maybe an evening with games and New Years Eve food plus some special cheeses with crackers will just carry me through the year. DP seems extra cuddly these days and apparently the world will not stop spinning. And who knows, maybe wishing you all a Happy New Year will make it come true!

From Amsterdam with Love...

(and carefull with the fireworks, please?! I'd like you to keep your fingers and eyes, for typing and reading and such)
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4 comments:

  1. Twangypearl the Elastic GirlJanuary 1, 2010 at 12:17 PM

    You're so right, life goes on. And we have to find a way of adjusting to it somehow.

    I am so sorry for the terrible disappointments of your recent past, and I hope for great things for you in 2010.

    Happy new year, Valery!

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  2. ValeryJanuary 2, 2010 at 11:25 PM

    DP asked me if I had any new years resolutions (not really) With a cheeky grin he said his resolution was to have more sex. Yes, with me preferably...

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJanuary 4, 2010 at 2:16 PM

    Hugs and best wishes that 2010 will all work out. It is all so very hard. I'm sorry that it's been a bad year. Special cheeses definitely a great idea.

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  4. Circus PrincessJanuary 6, 2010 at 5:40 PM

    Hi Valery!
    Sorry I don't have the recipe for the hollandaise sauce that went with the Lobster Benedict, but man, do I wish I did :) It was straight off the menu and went really well with our Mimosas Christmas day morning... (no wonder I gained weight )

    ReplyDelete

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